You got a friend in me .
I know cousins are your first lot of best friends . My first real best friend I met when we moved away from Liverpool. We were inseparable , I remember moving back to Liverpool and feeling like my arm had been cut off, yet it gets easier until one day there are new friends , new people in your life .
When I went to school in our new area, I developed a close friendship with a girl who had just moved to our school . We were introduced due to our circumstances being similar , yet we became bffs.
The first time my heart broke from bitchiness was when we had a school residential to Colomendy, I was lay on my bed pretending to be asleep when I heard one of the other girls saying that she didn’t like me . The murmurings continued until more joined in . I still to this day don’t understand how at that age you can be so cruel . I remember wanting to just go home , I was gutted. My friendships have always been closer to boys than girls and it goes back to my first friendship . Boys aren’t bitchy , boys don’t gossip or create cliques like girls do.
Bullying . I was bullied relentlessly . I was called pob , do you remember the little thing that used to pop up on screen , ears sticking out , big round head . Well that was my nickname (nice hey) due to that I always wore my hair down . Guess what I got bullied for next , yes having long straight hair ! Secondary school for me was the scariest place in the world , I wouldn’t hang around , I got home straight away . Girls were always saying they were going to beat me up . Yes my parents got involved , it never stopped it . I wouldn’t get a bus after school to go somewhere , I would avoid walking in so many places .
It’s not nice living your life in fear .
I was always being told ” I loved myself”
I have never been nasty to anyone , I have never called another person a name .
Yet for all those years I was petrified .
I know a lot of people , it’s never been a bad thing . I have worked with a lot of people , promised to keep in touch .
I suppose my problem is that no one knows me , my guard has always been up too high . I come across as confident yet every night I came home went upto my room to nothing.
I have never hated anyone I have had a friendship with , see the difference with me and other people is that if you are my friend it is because I really like you and want you in my life . See I don’t do lip service , I don’t have people in my life that I don’t want . I don’t do small talk .
Every person I have met in the last 20 years has made a big impact on my life , if I have taken the time to interact with you it was because I wanted to , not because I feel I have to.
Yet to them people I must have been getting lip service from them. As I can’t remember the last phone call or text message .
I can honestly count on one hand the number of true friends I have.
Yet over the years I have always been there for people through thick and thin , our home has always been open to anyone who needed a bed or someone to talk to .
If you have someone who you have in your life who you like having around make an effort , a real effort to keep them in your life .
Life is short and you don’t know what is around the corner .
Love the people you love , banish negativity from your life .
If you haven’t spoken to a friend for a while then message them , fb them . Whatever caused the loss of contact is no longer an issue , the only thing stopping you , is you !
Good night , God bless x
A x
