I am a Scouser born and bred and I know that people from Liverpool can do amazing things together.
Let me explain a little more , first of all I have Severe ME . My ME is so severe that I can’t do anything for myself. It wasn’t always this way I have worked hard and played hard before this illness destroyed everything for me. I am now reliant on my Husband and Daughter to do everything for me , including the most basic of things.
I used to take pride in my appearance, I was never into heavy make up I used to go for the natural look but I did love going to get my hair done or have my eyebrows waxed. Going to get my hair done was more of a social thing for me as I have had the same hairdresser for 19 years but going in and having your back massaged while you got a head massage was amazing.
We had a full social calendar and I have to be honest I have turned up to work with more than the odd hangover. We had the most amazing friend group and add that to family events meant we had very few quiet weekends. Weekdays were always manic from a early alarm to finally sitting down and having some family time, once the little one was in bed we would cuddle up on the couch and watch some TV. Saturday mornings was Mummy and Baby time we would go to our local gym were I would fit in some cardio and then take the little one in the pool for a splash about .
I loved going the gym , I was never the perfect make up and hair type of gym goer , I was red faced and sweating. I loved the sauna and jacuzzi after my swim through the week. Unfortunately since being ill the weight has made me feel a mess. I understand to each there own but for me I just don’t feel right in this body.
I was never into the latest fashion looks or make up trends . Now my latest looks are PJS and I can’t even colour my hair to cover the grey.
Since I have been ill I have found so many things have made me feel less of a wife or mother and that’s what started this all off. Right now for instance I am trying to save energy to hopefully make it to the cinema for some Hubby and Wife time but doing something like colouring my hair would exhaust me and would probably mean not going out. Yet if I don’t colour it and go out with grey in my hair , that will affect what little confidence I have. So what are my options , I could go to a salon but getting there would exhaust me and then the bright lights and loud music would deplete my energy and leave me very ill. I could get someone to come to the house but I already have my friend/hairdresser up the wall so feel bad asking .
Let me explain in more detail by using a simplified part of The Spoon Theory . Each day you have 10 spoons and each thing you do has a cost of spoons, so for instance a shower would take 2 spoons or eating a meal 1 spoon , going to work would be 4 spoons. Based on that a Shower = 2 spoons , eating 3 meals a day costs 3 spoons and going to work is 4 so so far we have used 9 spoons and we haven’t put on make up , brushed our teeth or watched TV all which cost you 1 spoon each . Carrying this over to the next day means you start on a minus because of the day before , doing this for the rest of the week would leave you absolutely exhausted even very ill from your activities and I have to stress they are all basic activities like cleaning , going to work . So then what about cleaning your home or doing washing ?
All of this leaves you with absolutely nothing left and some people like me won’t even start with 10 spoons. My spoons to start are a lot less maybe 4 spoons so what about that shower , the shower is still going to cost me 2 spoons and to eat 3 meals a day would still be 3 . So without doing much of anything I am on a minus and even things like going to the toilet would still be 1 spoon. You can read more about the spoon theory here The Spoon Theory.
Different versions have now been done but I believe I am correct saying Christine done it first.
So all of this got me thinking what if there were people in our community who were able to offer time and skills to help people like me. I have read about companies who offer time slots at reduced prices or free of charge and I know just what a difference it would make.
What I am hoping to do is build up relationships with business in our area who could do something similar . I would love to be able to start recommending these companies to people in the ME Community. Now I appreciate that lots of people need help but I have to fight our corner a little here . The ME Community is largely forgotten even still in 2018 we have medical professionals who don’t know what ME is even though ME is described by some professionals as being a severe as end stage cancer or HIV !
Last year I had a ATOS review and the report states that they don’t see my condition changing ever . I am only 40 . My medication includes Morphine and I am bedridden for roughly 95% of the time. ATOS a company that have been slammed for sending severely ill people back to work who pass away within days are stating that my life is never going to get better .
So Liverpool I ask for your help. If you have any type of business or service which you believe could make a difference a difference to The ME Community then email me alisha@alishawhittam.com
If you want more information on ME then email press@alishawhittam.com or visit The ME Association
Help me make a difference ,
Love Always
Alisha x x x