Christmas can be such a lonely time of year and I want you to know that if this applies to you , I am thinking of you.
It could be because you are sick or that you just can’t face the festivities , it could be that you have lost someone who played a very special part in your life. I understand that people feel left out when others don’t get in touch and I understand that this goes both ways , as you could also pick up the phone to wish your best for the holidays.
Unfortunately if you aren’t feeling great picking up the phone to friends and family isn’t so easy , as you are already thinking that you aren’t wanted or loved , you are already spiralling into a hundred other conversations in your head, things like if they wanted you they would have already been in touch , add to that recent photos uploaded to Facebook or Instagram of an event that you didn’t get an invited to , so you go on thinking that you were right in thinking that they didn’t want you and that you aren’t loved or wanted.
Suicide increases over the holidays and all the time we read articles quoting friends and families who wish they had just picked up the phone, we hear people say all the time if only I’d have known that they felt like this. People always say I should have done more , I should have been there for them. Then of course the article will quote the telephone number of helpline numbers for if you are thinking of suicide or you just need someone to talk to.
This year I have talked to lots of people who feel lost and that they haven’t got anybody . I have also read about an increase in people who have attempted suicide or have been successful in taking their life.
So for and on behalf of every single person who has ever had suicidal thoughts and for every single person who feels alone I make this plea !!
If you have a friend or family member who you haven’t heard from in a while or they have withdrew from the life they once had , I beg you all to just pick up the phone to them.
I understand that we all have busy lives and we all have problems but for someone to stop seeing people and/or someone stops visiting or speaking to family in a while then something is very wrong. Now if you are thinking of someone while you read this post please just pick up the phone to them or drop them a message . Better still just drop round uninvited .
See for someone to withdraw from the life they once had then something is up and yes sometimes ego is involved here and you may be thinking , well he/she never rang me when x y or z happened . That is even more of an alarm bell! If for instance a birth / death or wedding happened and that family or friend never got in touch then that shows that your family or friend is feeling completely isolated .
Your friend or family member will be feeling like they don’t matter and by you not being in touch , well that just reassures them that they are right . Your friend or family member will be thinking ‘if I mattered they would have messaged me or phoned me’ .
Would you be able to pick up the phone to someone if you felt like you didn’t matter to them ? , No I didn’t think so.
Unfortunately this is why so many people don’t feel like they can pick up the phone , even if someone is trained to listen to people who have suicidal thoughts . They feel like they don’t matter and that no one cares nothing simple will change that.
I am not trained in listening to people who have suicidal thoughts but I am always here if anyone needs a friend , you can email me directly at alisha@alishawhittam.com
If you are reading this and you feel alone or lost it doesn’t matter why, I am still here . If you think that you don’t matter I promise you this , you absolutely do , you matter to me . Nothing else matters but you do.
I know why you feel this way because I do too.
I feel lost and that I don’t matter so let’s get through this together, day by day .
It doesn’t matter about anything else I promise you that, but you do matter.
UK – If you want to take to the Samaritans they can be contacted on – 116 123
USA – The National Suicide prevention lifeline – 1-800-273-8255
If you want the information on the crisis helpline for your country then please message me alisha@alishawhittam.com and let me know your country and I will try to find the information for you.
Your life matters, you matter to me.
Love & gentle hugs ,
Alisha 💕